It's been a little while since I last wrote. In all honesty, I think I'm wavering in and out of depression. Recently, I've had to shut my father out of my life. He sends these e-mails that always tear down my hopes, my goals, my dreams, and my motivation to carry on with life's endeavors. I know that if I tell him that he's no longer a part of my life, he will only try to snake his way back in so that he can continue to hurt me and try to control decisions he can't control. This depressed state of mind is starting to affect my school and if I fail any of my classes, I'm going to be heart broken. I want to prove that I can be successful without him. Being hated, makes me feel like I deserve to be hated.
On another note, I've decided to work out and go on a diet. Hopefully it will give me enough self-esteem to pick myself out of this slump.
Not much else to write about. Hoping that I can write a good poem with these emotions. I write those on another blog - whaleriderspoetry.blogspot.com
(in case anyone starts to read my posts: my name is ilittleheartu on that blog
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